How to Break Bad Relationship Patterns from this Life and Previous Lives

Have you ever experienced a relationship that was not working in a positive way or even toxic? Are you looking for the path to healing?

How do you move on from this relationship in a spiritual sense …. ie. How do you break the unseen ties that bind you? Maybe you have not moved on yet, but you are looking for help. Maybe this person was not in a relationship with you, but possibly it was a hurtful, bad event (like molestation or rape) and you want to continue to heal from that.

We are all looking for love and acceptance from someone, but when harsh relationships, memories and emotional events keep resurfacing later in our lives, we are made aware of our need to heal from them.

We need to heal so that we can be whole …. when we are whole, we can bring our whole self into a new, healthy, loving relationship.

Additionally, when a relationship is ending or has ended, it is like a death. We go through the same stages as if someone close to us has died: Denial, Anger, Depression and finally Acceptance.

I firmly believe that forgiveness is always healing, however, I have found several additional ways to also help in the healing process. Please note that forgiveness is not saying that you are okay with what happened, but that you can release the attachment to it and not allow those memories or that person to weigh you down.

Below you will find many different ways to help you heal through whatever connection you have had in a relationship that you would like to release. By doing so, you will feel lighter, freer, more healthy emotionally and spiritually. It is shedding the dark, cloudy energy that formed. It is the releasing of the heavy, pent-up emotions that have been weighing us down – sometime for our entire lifetime or beyond. Use the tool or tools that resonates with you.

Know that it may take years for healing as we are always healing on many levels. By simply acknowledging that you would like to release the attachment to this relationship is the first step to healing. These tools may be your first step. There are many, many ways to heal. These are just a few. It feels like we are chipping away at a large boulder now, but you can do it with a lot of self-work and self-love.

My first suggestion is to ask your angels and spirit guides to send you healing unconditional love. Close your eyes right now and allow it to be so.

 

START WITH THE RELEASING …

 

Release the Patterns of a Past Life

Angelic Prayer from Mhairi at Angel Rainbow

Help provided by Archangel Raziel

Visualize yourself surrounded in rainbow colors.

I call upon Archangel Raziel to help my remember lessons and experiences from my past lives, that have an impact upon my life at this time. Help me to understand and heal from issues that I faced during any of my past lives. Guide me to recognize and release all that no longer serves me in this life, which is connected to a previous existence. I calmly and with love release and heal from all that you show me. Archangel Raziel, thank for this wonderful guidance and allowing me to realize how my past lives have influenced this incarnation.

 

Remember a Past Life

Go straight to the source of why you were attracted to this person in the first place or why you encountered them. By remembering a past life, you can be made aware of being with them before and why. Maybe the experience was similar. Maybe the past life experience explains the relationship. It can be extraordinarily healing on a lot of levels. I have seen a contract I signed to agree to come into this life with a person – all for the learning. Harsh, but I did grow from the experience. We choose all that we have experienced by our own free will.

 

Clear Your Blocks to Your Happiness and Abundance

Here is way to clear any blocks you may have by Joe Vitale. It is from his audio tapes, the Missing Secret:

“Spirit, Superconscience, please locate the origin of my feeling, thoughts of __________________________.
Take each and every level, layer, area and aspect of my being to this origin.
Analyze and resolve it perfectly with God’s truth.
Come through all generations of time and eternity.
Healing every incident and its appendages based on the origin.
Please do it according to God’s will until I am at the present, filled with light and truth, God’s peace and love, forgiveness of myself for my incorrect perceptions, forgiveness of every person, place, circumstances and event which contributed to these feelings, thoughts.
With total forgiveness and unconditional love: I allow every physical, mental, emotional and spiritual problem and inappropriate behavior based on the negative origin recorded in my dna to transform.
I choose _____ (What you want to be) ________________________.
I feel ________ (what you want to feel) ________________________.

 

Contract/vow Releasement

This is an excerpt from Owen Waters’ book:

“I now renounce and release all vows that I have taken which have outlived their purposes and which now limit my potential for growth. I reclaim my personal freedom and declare such vows renounced and released as of now. I replace old vows with the knowing that I am loved and that I am Love.”

 

Cut the Unseen Cords

There are unseen cords that attach when you meet someone. It is as though they physically attach to you. Some are good attachments and you feel positive and lifted up by the relationship – sometimes even a back and forth energetic exchange. Those are the healthy ones!

But… then there are those who drain us, literally, of our energy and we feel exhausted after talking to or being with them.

A shaman taught me how to detach these cords. Close your eyes and visualize the cords extending from your stomach area (which is via the sacral chakra). Then visualize yourself cutting the cords. In your mind, visualize yourself using a large pair of scissors, a flaming knife, sword or even a chain saw. Whatever makes you happy. Cut them like you mean it. Then, visualize yourself taking back all parts of your energy from their (whoever they may be) portion of the cord. Put your energy back on and in you. Then, send their cord portion back to them. I visualize them burning back to the others … to really cut them off. Offer forgiveness to any person that comes to your mind while you do this. You are not being mean, it is necessary. Then visualize your opening (from where the cords came) being sealed back up with unconditional love.

I have seen this done with people using real tools like a knife (uh, made me very nervous) and learned you can use any physical object like a stone or anything meaningful to you. While doing this physical, in the air, cutting, you can scream out to this person that: ‘you are finished, you are done, you are mad, you are cutting them from you’. It is very healing.

You do not have to sever every cord with every person, some are built on love – like your child or parent. Do this exercise as often as you feel necessary. I did it several times. The shaman said, some can be sticky and it may take a few times to release them completely. Every once in a while, do it again. I did it every day, then once a week, etc. at first. You’ll know what to do intuitively. I rarely feel the need for cord cutting now.

I started to notice that when I felt drained after talking to someone … I had to disconnect. After a while, it becomes obvious who drains you.

 

Writing

You can write a letter to this person and tell them that you are done, disconnected and finished with the emotional attachment they formed on you. You can then burn it for finality.

 

NOW FOR THE HEALING …

 

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) Tapping

I offer this affirmation for those who have been traumatized:

Even though terrible things may have happened to me, and my impulse may be to suppress undesirable thoughts, emotions, or bodily sensations, I am loveable and acceptable just as I am. Even though I may feel devalued by traumatic occurrences, I know at my core that I am whole and good, and I now choose to lovingly align myself with that truth.

 

Protect Yourself

Each day or as often as you feel the need, visualize a shield around you. I visualize a golden light. Say, “The golden light surrounds and protects me. No harm can come through my light, only goodness.”

 

Write the Story You Want to Hear

Now, focus on you. Write down how you want your life to be. Write things that only state the positive – use NO negative words/thoughts. For example: Say- ‘Only loving people are in my life’. Don’t say- ‘No mean men in my life’. Say- ‘I know what I want in my life’. Don’t say- ‘I am a lost soul’.

The reason I tell you this is because: the story you tell about you, becomes you. Tell the story you want to have in your life (even if it sounds crazy or outrageous now). Say things like- I have lots of friends who love and respect me. There are nice people everywhere. People do nice things for me every day and I accept them with gratitude. The men or women I meet love and respect me. I am confident in everything I do. I have courage. I am open to receive loving relationships.

 

Be Inspired

Read or listen to the teachings of The Secret (Rhonda Byrnes) (and any of the authors featured) as well as Esther & Jerry Hicks writings on the teachings of Abraham-Hicks and the Law of Attraction. Very cool info.

 

Visualize the New You

Make a vision board – it is a poster collage filled with things you want to see in your life. If you are a visual person, this is a great reminder of what you want out of life. It is fun to do. I add stuff all the time. You can make a paper one with pictures clipped from magazines. The website Pinterest.com is a great place to do this online. Or you can copy pictures and paste them on a document you keep on your computer. The more you look at the vision board, the better. I have a couple. It is a fun reminder of what you want in life. And – when you look at it months later and see that some of the things have come to fruition… well…. life can be fabulous.

 

Love to you,
xoxox
Karen